TV Review: The Ringer series premiere

If you know anything about me, you know I love scripted television about as much as I love books.  You also know that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is one of my favorite series of all time.  I can feel the judgement already!

After a long hiatus away from the small screen, Sarah Michelle Gellar has returned to television in The Ringer, the CW’s noir soap opera in which she plays twins!  Bridget is a recovering coked-up stripper (from Wyoming…really?) currently under witness protection and Siobhan is a Hamptons/NYC socialite.  In the pilot, Bridget escapes her protective custody, finds her way to Siobhan (they’ve been estranged for 6 six years due to some mystery involving some child named Sean), and assumes Siobhan’s identity when Siobhan seemingly commits suicide by bad green screen effects…or drowning…whatever floats your boat.  Sounds tremendously trashy, yes?

Le sigh – it was TERRIBLE.  Everyone was so stiff-faced and dull (SMG has never mastered drama).  This show takes itself way too seriously and the script is devoid of any life.  I felt like I was at a funeral the whole time, not a fun campy drama filled with twists and turns.  And I love fun campy shows!  The Vampire Diaries and True Blood are fantastic in this respect.

Poor SMG.  The special effects are terrible, the cliche plots leave little to the imagination, and now I’ve discovered that Jason Dohring is also set to start in later episodes – NO, JASON!  Don’t do it!!!  Now I have to continue watching.

With all that being said, pilots are often terrible.  I’ll be giving SMG and Mr. Dohring three episodes before I officially give up and reclaim my 9pm Tuesday nights.

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