To be honest, I finished the book prior to writing the remaining recaps. We’ll see how much my memory serves or fails me. Wish me luck!
Okay – so Tyrion is being held captive in his chambers as the trial begins. Obviously, he’s suspected by nearly the whole Realm of killing Joffrey. His uncle comes to him and tells him to find some witnesses because Cersei has found many against him Tyrion tries Bronn, but Cersei has wedded him off to Lady Lollys and given him a castle. Tyrion knows he and Bronn are finished as BFFs.
At the trial, Tyrion is run through the mud with honest lies. Everything said has just a hint of truth so that Tyrion really stands absolutely no chance. He has no witnesses, but hopes that Sansa can be found on his behalf.
Prince Oberyn comes to Tyrion asking him to pursue a trial by combat with himself as Tyrion’s champion. Cersei has already selected Gregor Clegane and we all know the Dornish man wants revenge against The Mountain. He also has ideas of rewriting succession laws to allow inheritance for the oldest child – no matter gender.
Somewhere along the way Tywin, via his brother, also offers Tyrion his life if he confesses to the crime. He’ll be forced to take the Black, but will be allowed to keep his head. This same offer was accepted by Ned Stark….
Unless Oberyn really can defeat Clegane, I’m not sure there’s a way out for Tyrion at this point.
Jaime sits alone as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard in his new chambers which seem quite comfy. He’s feeling lonely and sad – abandoned by his family. I imagine he’s beginning to understand Tyrion a whole lot more these days. He flips through this large book where the Commander must update each individual profile for the Kingsguard members. It’s the facebook of their day, I suppose. Jaime’s own entry is lackluster and surprisingly short. He’s not as accomplished as one might think.
The other members of the Kingsguard join him for a meeting and he pretty much pisses them all off one by one. Finally, only Ser Loras remains and Jaime sees a punk kid filled with arrogance – mainly, himself. Loras still wants Brienne’s head, but Jaime manages to cool his anger and persuade him that perhaps Brienne is telling the truth. He beseeches Loras to visit her in her cell and talk to her rationally. If he still thinks she did it, he’ll have her head. Jaime as the voice of reason is freaking my shit out, but I like it.
Jaime respects Loras because of the loyalty and passion he’s shown and still shows towards Renly, Loras’s true king and lover.
I heart Jaime unconditionally these days.
The sea makes Sansa sick. Littlefinger informs her they aren’t sailing for HER home, but rather HIS home. Joy. Sansa is super upset. They arrive at the Fingers which is a dreary little place, but Littlefinger still reigns supreme here.
Littlefinger informs her he is waiting on Lady Lysa Arryn to arrive as they are to be wed. Sansa is taken aback. After the wedding, they are to move to the Eyrie. Sansa hopes for the best.
Lady Lysa and her bag of loose screws arrives and demands to be wed to Littlefinger immediately. Littlefinger wants to wait but Lysa is all hot and bothered for her Petyr – the man she’s waited on her whole life. The man that essentially made her hate her sister – since we all know Petyr truly loves Catelyn.
Littlefinger and Sansa have come up with a secret identity for her – Alayne Stone – bastard child of Petyr, daughter to a foreign woman who died in childbirth.
After their quickie wedding, a terribly loud sex scene between Lysa and Petyr that we all could have done without. Sansa/Alayne is almost raped by Lysa’s singer, Marillion. The next morning Lady Lysa speaks with Sansa (she’s been told her true identity) and explains that Sansa will now be married off to her son, sickly little Robert, once Tyrion is beheaded. Sansa begins to realize that she’ll never be allowed to marry for love.
Lady Lysa sickens me physically.
The Wall is still under siege from Rayder’s attacks, but the Watch is holding their own. Rayder’s men are building a ‘turtle’ which basically acts as a shield against the Watch’s arrows, rocks, and fires while they smash down the Wall’s gate. Jon outsmarts them and has barrels filled with frozen water/ice ready for the turtle when it arrives. The ice barrels destroy the turtle. Jon is quite the leader.
With the Wall safe another night, Jon swallows some dreamwine and heads off to the land of nod. He’s awoken by men who demand his audience. Janos Slynt has arrived and accuses Jon of being a turncloak/oathbreaker. He even has a lovely Wildling prisoner, none other than Rattleshirt, to help back up his story of killing Qhorin Halfhand. Aemon can’t save Jon. They lock him up in an ice cell. NO, NOT JON!!!!
I am glad, however, that Castle Black is receiving reinforcements.
An intense chapter. First, Pod admits in a lack of words that even he thinks Tyrion’s guilty. Next, Shae completely betrays Tyrion during the trial and my heart broke in two for him during this scene. It was brutal. Tyrion demands his trial by combat.
On the day of the fight, Tyrion wakes up happy – his heart filled with hope at Oberyn’s prospects. Oberyn seems calm, cool, collected, and completely confidant of his victory.
The battle is epic and should be an amazing part of the HBO series. Oberyn uses his wit and quickness to physically and psychologically tire the Mountain. Eventually, Oberyn wounds Clegane severely and has him flat on his back – ready for the final kill blow. Oberyn gets too cocky and too close. They begin to wrestle on the ground where Clegane ultimately wins – throwing Oberyn’s words back in his face. Tyrion empties his stomach and is dragged away to the black cells. That doesn’t sound good. Tyrion’s days appear numbered.
The part where Clegane kills the little town boy – horrible. I hate this man. He’s not even human in my opinion.